Getting What We Really Want

We usually do not ask the Universe for what we really want.We ask for what we think it looks like, so when we get what we ask for, we are disappointed.

We usually do not ask the Universe for what we really want.We ask for what we think it looks like, so when we get what we ask for, we are disappointed.” Once we have made a commitment we have focused our energies that focus creates a clear direction for the Universeto interpret and help guide us towards.Focus brings clarity.Once our desiresare focused we are clear.Once we are clear our goal is understood and immediately the Universe begins to work. Having this focus means trusting that the Universe will guide our steps, even if it is not where we think it should be. It may not even be where we want it to be.The external world dominates our thinking and we make our plans based upon its rules.The Universe does not act in terms of physical categories, or forms, it acts in terms of the need to be filled on a soul level.

A position may appear before me, or someone may speak to me regarding a particular career and I will decide that it is what I want.This position or career stimulates within me a feeling of satisfaction, or accomplishment.That feeling is why I want that position, and so it is the feeling and not the position that the Universewill bring to me. The position is only the form that I assume will provide the feeling.It is the boxthat I assume contains what it is that I really want. This understanding is critical.

The Universemay not bring me that particular position because in actuality that position was not going to give me what I was really looking for.It is that underlying need, that underlying feeling that Universe will bring me.So when we focus, it must not be merely on the outer appearanceof what we desire, but primarily on the feeling we anticipate that it will fill us with.

The ego is a bag with a hole in the bottom.What is fed through the ego empties into the soul.The problem is that food for the ego is waste for the soul.The ego cannot be satiated, that happens in the soul.Do we want to feel secure, or is it the sense of achievement that we desire? What does our soul receivefrom whatever it is that we are going after?When we see ourselves with whatever it is that we seek, how does it feel?We may seek the physical form of something but it is really the essence that we perceive is contained within that form that we are after.When we are attracted to the physical form what is being drawn to that form is the ego.The ego sees the thing, the person, or the position as a way to satisfy a craving.Yet, when we attain what the ego is attracted to, we are still empty within.When we override the ego and connect with the feeling of it, we are closer to the truth.Truth is what the Universe will at all times bring to our lives.

I may think that I want John, but in fact I want what I imagine being with John will feel like.It may very well be that what I think I will feel with John is not in any way what I would actually feel from him.He may not be who I think he is.I am.However if I focus on what it is that I want to feel, and open myself to any possible way that it may be brought to me, I am in a much better position to have my real needs met.When I am clear on what qualities I am seeking in a mate, even if I am hoping it is John, it will be those qualities that the Universewill provide.If I do not get John that does not mean that I will not get what I am seeking, it only means that what I am seeking is not John.

The Universe is constantly answering our prayers.It is we, who are not really in touch with what we are actually praying for.We may have an idea of the form that we imagine it will come in, but we need to leave the knowledge of the actual form up to the Universe.We need to trust that we will get what we really want.When we obtain what the egoseeks, we temporarily scratch an itch.When we obtain what the soul is seeking, we remove the cause of the itch.If we let go and have faith, we will get the enduringquality that our soul is seeking.

This is a lesson that may take us forever to learn.Very often the Universewill give us exactly what we ask for, and often when that happens we are disappointed because it is never what we thought it would be.The egosees a box, wants the box and gets the box.The soul opens the box to get what is inside and beholds that it is empty.The ego does not look inside.It does not even comprehend the meaning of inside.To satisfy the ego at the expense of the soul is to put a piece of tape on a hole in the dam.It will not hold.The satisfaction of the soul fills the hole with the same materialthat the dam itself is made of.Therefore, there is permanent repair.

What we do not realize is that the Universemay have presented us with exactly what we really wanted many times over, but we didn’t know it because we didn’t like the box.Each time that it appeared before us, we simply passed it by without noticing. Our egowas in the way.The Universe gives us what our ego asks for so that at some point we will begin to realize that the problem is not what we keep getting, but what we keep asking for.

We may be so entrenched in what we expect to see that we miss what is before us.Finally we learn that perhaps we need to look deeper to findwhat we really want and rephrase the request.It is valuable to go inside and dig beneath all of the layers of what we want to find out what we need from it.We need to find the feeling we are seeking.What is the experience meant to satisfy on the deepest level?Once we know what we need to feel, we will be able to focus clearly upon what it is that we want.When we can focus, we will find that we do get exactly what we want. There are as many ways to express love as there are people to express it.

There are certain things that are very difficult to recognize as adults if they were absent in childhood.If we were not given the love that we needed as children by either or both of our parents, we find it almost impossible to recognize love as adults.Love is an invisible energy that is transmitted through even the most trivial action.If you were not loved, you do not understand this.And so, you look to the world outside for almost Shakespearean expressions of love.Loving and grand shows of affection are two different things.A person who was taught to say, ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, who was trained as a child to always call home, to always ask about someone’s health and well being is a person who was taught to be polite.My daughter is extremely dramatic.When she was young, she would exhibit dramatic shows of affection.It didn’t even mean that she cared, it just means that she is a drama queen.A person can be impolite, inconsiderate and unemotional and still love deeply.I have known many extremely well mannered people who went through all of the ‘shoulds’ but really didn’t care about anyone.I have known too many people who have gone through life feeling unloved, all the while turning away those who love them because they did not recognize the form that it came in.

These people, desperately seeking love, were attracted to individuals who were natural at presenting a façade of loving or even caring when in fact their actions and words were empty, or self-serving.And it is easy to fall into this because if you don’t know what it feels like – you go after what it looks like.Unfortunately love looks like air, so since we can’t see it, we search for what we normally find containing it, a balloon, so when we think that we have love, often times all we have is a balloon.One of the greatest gifts that I have received is this particular understanding.I have learned that the value of a gift lies in its value to the giver, not to the receiver or to the general public.I know that some people love me because they give me the hardest thing for them to give and that is trust.I know that other people love me because they won’t go away no matter what I do.My father never did one thing that would fit on the list of expressions of love – but I knew that he loved me when he stopped at the Howard Johnsons to have pancakes with me when I went to work with him.

Sometimes getting what we really want requires taking the time to go inside and find out what it is that we want from it.If we do this, we will find that what we want from it may be in it, or it may not be in it at all. Knowing what we need to receive from what we want to achieve will give us a far greater chance at satisfaction.It removes the appetite from being the decision maker so that we may be really nourished. If we can attract to us that which we believe we want, we will cut out a great deal of disappointment and suffering if we are not focused on what we believe that we want but we believe that we want is what we also know that we need.When we know that what we want is a box and what we need is not the box but its content, then we can accept that only God knows which boxis right for us.


 

Success and Failure

What we consider failure is merely a rehearsal for success

Belief is the greatest factor in whether or not we succeed in reaching our goals. Whether we believe that we are able to reach them or whether we believe that the tools that we have will bring us to our goals is the determining factor. There is a story about a German troop during World War II that was out of guns. The commander handed each soldier an imaginary weapon and told him that this weapon was superior to any other. He told them that they only had to point it at their enemy and say, “Bang bang” and the enemy would drop down dead. One day the soldier, as he was fighting in the field of battle saw an enemy soldier, pointed his imaginary weapon and said, “Bang bang” and enemy fell down dead. He was so excited that he charged after each enemy soldier that he could find pointing his imaginary weapon and yelling, “Bang bang” and they all dropped like flies.

Soon after he heard the Star Spangled Banner playing in the air, and he knew that the Americans were coming. He was ready, he pointed his imaginary gun at the first American soldier that he saw and yelled, “Bang Bang”, and nothing happened, the soldier kept advancing. He did it again and still the American soldier kept advancing. Soon the German soldier found himself on the ground dying, and as he slowly faded out of consciousness he heard the American soldier saying, “I’m in a Tank I’m in a tank, I’m in a tank I’m in a tank, I’m in a tank, I’m in a tank…”

One way to succeed at reaching our goals is to go forward with the belief that we ourselves are fully capable of reaching that goal. Another way is to believe that we have the tools, the abilities that are needed to reach that goal. A third way is to be so focused on our goals that we do not even consider that we cannot reach them. In this way we do not even acknowledge any obstacles and therefore they are not given the life that they need in order to be obstacles in the first place. This is how many people who do not have any great amount of belief in themselves reach their goals.

The main thing that each of the above ways of succeeding has in common is the fact that they are all moving in the direction of their goal. So long as we move, the Universe will assist us in getting anywhere that we need to go. That forward movement is in itself an act of believing whether or not we are aware of it. We are all given the same keys to success at birth. However we are all given different things to succeed at. There are, as many people who were born with money who do not make anything of their lives in the world, as there are people who are born without money and do.

What we need to achieve, and whatever it is that we want, are not things that come to us from the world it is what we bring from ourselves out to the world. Everyone has a talent. Everyone has that specific talent that is required to achieve whatever it is that they came here to achieve. Sometimes we must know exactly what it is that we want in order to find that particular talent that we each have. Sometimes we have a talent that we do not know what to do with. That may not even be the talent that is immediately connected with our hearts desire. Yet once we connect with our hearts desire, we will find where our talents fit in.
Pope John Paul II wanted to be an entertainer; I recently watched a movie based upon a story that he had written. To creatively enrich the lives of others was his heart’s desire. Through following his desires he was led to the Church. He has now as the Pope, written a book and produced a CD. He did not end up where he planned as a child to be, or even as a young man to be, but it was from following his own plan that fate was able to guide his success in the Master Plan. He certainly was not a failure, yet he is on a much different stage than he had dreamed of.

Success and failure are both part of a process, failure is the means to success, but succeeding is something that does not end with reaching one goal. It is only after reaching one goal that we are able to see the next one. Once we are in sight of our next goal we will fail and fail until we succeed. Again the process will begin.

The fact is that we cannot succeed without failing. Failure is actually nothing but practice. Failure is rehearsal. How would we ever learn to walk if we were afraid of falling? What would happen if we accepted falling down the first time that we tried to walk as a failure? If that were the case we would all be crawling failures. As children there was never any doubt that in order to accomplish whatever it was that we wanted to do be it sitting crawling walking or riding a bike we would have to fall. Falling was not an issue. And we did not stop and count how many times we fell, our eyes were on our goal and we knew that we would reach it.

The sense of failure is really a byproduct of living in comparison to others or to the standards set by others. We were taken from being the best that we could be to being better than someone else is. The thing that impresses me when I hear successful athletes speak is that they usually say that they are not competing with others they are competing with themselves. They seek to better their best. It is this going outside of ourselves, living in comparison to others that causes us to judge ourselves as failures. What we consider as a failure could merely be a redirection. It could be a turn in our path that the Universe intends for us to take. With each step, regardless of where we seem to be, we are gathering what we need for the next. We are gathering the strengths, the tools, and the abilities that we need to go on. The heavier the weight that we lift, the stronger our muscles will become, physically, as well as emotionally. Yet, we never lift it on the first try, it takes time, that is not failure, that is work.

Many people are afraid of failure, so in order to avoid it they do not try. They do not realize that once we take the first step the possibilities before us are endless, but if we do not take a step we will go nowhere. We do not have to know where we are going in order to get there. We are here to find our way. Even if we do not exactly know our destination we can be still certain that we won’t end up on the wrong place. In life anywhere we end up will be right. Sometimes we are guided by a light that we do not even know that we see. The only way to fail is to quit. So long as we keep going the road will lead us to success.
In actuality we are all in the process of succeeding. Some of us have a longer road than others have. If my goal is ten miles away and I am competing with someone whose goal is five miles away, logic says that he will reach his goal before I will. Yet there are two separate things going on here. If the object is to reach ones goal, the winner is the one who reaches his goal. Therefore the only way to win is to keep striving until the goal is reached.

If the object is to beat someone else, there is no winning because competition can never be fair. There will always be another someone else. Someone will always have an advantage and someone else will always have a disadvantage. There are no equal playing fields, yet the ultimate playing field is always equal. We can all reach our goals. We can use competition to help push ourselves, or to help keep ourselves motivated. We should not use it to compare or to judge our success or failure.

Living in comparison is not living. Sometimes as an astrologer, I will look at a chart and thank God that it is not mine. Yet I know how many astrologers look at my chart and feel the same way. Nothing is one size fits all. Each life is tailor made for only the person who is living it. I could no more handle what someone else endures as I could find happiness in what makes someone else happy. My life would be empty for anyone else who tried to live it, for it is my reality and everyone’s illusion. There is no point in comparison.
If something makes you happy I cannot assume that it will make me happy. It does not mean that there is something wrong with me. If your shoes are not comfortable on my feet it does not mean that there is something wrong with my feet.

We need to find within ourselves what makes us happy. We need to find within ourselves what it is that we want. Somehow, we need to start with our childhood and filter out what others told us was right for us and seek deep inside for what we know feels right. The guarantee is that if we seek we shall find. If we intend to find what our hearts desire is, it will be shown to us. Our task, our journey is to find our way to that hearts desire. We just have to accept the fact that it is out there for us. We will reach it if we sincerely desire it.
The greatest guarantee of success is to find ones road and to travel it. We each have a road and a destination, and each road leads to that destination. Success is promised to us. It is there, we just have to keep going and not give up. More than anything we must not compare ourselves to others. We should find hope in the successes of others not lose our hope because of them. The Universe gave us each exactly what we need. All we have to do is find a way to activate it.

What is the measure of success after all? It is not what we have but what we feel about what we have. Success is not measured in the things that we own but in the life that we live. Success is not in our pockets but in our hearts. More than anything else, the person with the greatest success is one who has the most to take with him when he leaves.

Getting What We Really Want

We usually do not ask the Universe for what we really want. We ask for what we think it looks like, so when we get what we ask for, we are disappointed.

We usually do not ask the Universe for what we really want. We ask for what we think it looks like, so when we get what we ask for, we are disappointed.” Once we have made a commitment we have focused our energies that focus creates a clear direction for the Universe to interpret and help guide us towards. Focus brings clarity. Once our desires are focused we are clear. Once we are clear our goal is understood and immediately the Universe begins to work. Having this focus means trusting that the Universe will guide our steps, even if it is not where we think it should be. It may not even be where we want it to be. The external world dominates our thinking and we make our plans based upon its rules. The Universe does not act in terms of physical categories, or forms, it acts in terms of the need to be filled on a soul level.

A position may appear before me, or someone may speak to me regarding a particular career and I will decide that it is what I want. This position or career stimulates within me a feeling of satisfaction, or accomplishment. That feeling is why I want that position, and so it is the feeling and not the position that the Universe will bring to me. The position is only the form that I assume will provide the feeling. It is the box that I assume contains what it is that I really want. This understanding is critical.

The Universe may not bring me that particular position because in actuality that position was not going to give me what I was really looking for. It is that underlying need, that underlying feeling that Universe will bring me. So when we focus, it must not be merely on the outer appearance of what we desire, but primarily on the feeling we anticipate that it will fill us with.

The ego is a bag with a hole in the bottom. What is fed through the ego empties into the soul. The problem is that food for the ego is waste for the soul. The ego cannot be satiated, that happens in the soul. Do we want to feel secure, or is it the sense of achievement that we desire? What does our soul receivefrom whatever it is that we are going after? When we see ourselves with whatever it is that we seek, how does it feel? We may seek the physical form of something but it is really the essence that we perceive is contained within that form that we are after. When we are attracted to the physical form what is being drawn to that form is the ego. The ego sees the thing, the person, or the position as a way to satisfy a craving. Yet, when we attain what the ego is attracted to, we are still empty within. When we override the ego and connect with the feeling of it, we are closer to the truth. Truth is what the Universe will at all times bring to our lives.

I may think that I want John, but in fact I want what I imagine being with John will feel like. It may very well be that what I think I will feel with John is not in any way what I would actually feel from him. He may not be who I think he is. I am. However if I focus on what it is that I want to feel, and open myself to any possible way that it may be brought to me, I am in a much better position to have my real needs met. When I am clear on what qualities I am seeking in a mate, even if I am hoping it is John, it will be those qualities that the Universe will provide. If I do not get John that does not mean that I will not get what I am seeking, it only means that what I am seeking is not John.

The Universe is constantly answering our prayers. It is we, who are not really in touch with what we are actually praying for. We may have an idea of the form that we imagine it will come in, but we need to leave the knowledge of the actual form up to the Universe. We need to trust that we will get what we really want. When we obtain what the ego seeks, we temporarily scratch an itch. When we obtain what the soul is seeking, we remove the cause of the itch. If we let go and have faith, we will get the enduring quality that our soul is seeking.

This is a lesson that may take us forever to learn. Very often the Universe will give us exactly what we ask for, and often when that happens we are disappointed because it is never what we thought it would be. The ego sees a box, wants the box and gets the box. The soul opens the box to get what is inside and beholds that it is empty. The ego does not look inside. It does not even comprehend the meaning of inside. To satisfy the ego at the expense of the soul is to put a piece of tape on a hole in the dam. It will not hold. The satisfaction of the soul fills the hole with the same material that the dam itself is made of. Therefore, there is permanent repair.

What we do not realize is that the Universe  may have presented us with exactly what we really wanted many times over, but we didn’t know it because we didn’t like the box. Each time that it appeared before us, we simply passed it by without noticing. Our ego was in the way. The Universe gives us what our ego asks for so that at some point we will begin to realize that the problem is not what we keep getting, but what we keep asking for.

We may be so entrenched in what we expect to see that we miss what is before us. Finally we learn that perhaps we need to look deeper to find what we really want and rephrase the request. It is valuable to go inside and dig beneath all of the layers of what we want to find out what we need from it. We need to find the feeling we are seeking. What is the experience meant to satisfy on the deepest level? Once we know what we need to feel, we will be able to focus clearly upon what it is that we want. When we can focus, we will find that we do get exactly what we want. There are as many ways to express love as there are people to express it.

There are certain things that are very difficult to recognize as adults if they were absent in childhood. If we were not given the love that we needed as children by either or both of our parents, we find it almost impossible to recognize love as adults. Love is an invisible energy that is transmitted through even the most trivial action. If you were not loved, you do not understand this. And so, you look to the world outside for almost Shakespearean expressions of love. Loving and grand shows of affection are two different things. A person who was taught to say, ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, who was trained as a child to always call home, to always ask about someone’s health and well being is a person who was taught to be polite. My daughter is extremely dramatic. When she was young, she would exhibit dramatic shows of affection. It didn’t even mean that she cared, it just means that she is a drama queen. A person can be impolite, inconsiderate and unemotional and still love deeply. I have known many extremely well mannered people who went through all of the ‘shoulds’ but really didn’t care about anyone. I have known too many people who have gone through life feeling unloved, all the while turning away those who love them because they did not recognize the form that it came in.

These people, desperately seeking love, were attracted to individuals who were natural at presenting a façade of loving or even caring when in fact their actions and words were empty, or self-serving. And it is easy to fall into this because if you don’t know what it feels like – you go after what it looks like. Unfortunately love looks like air, so since we can’t see it, we search for what we normally find containing it, a balloon, so when we think that we have love, often times all we have is a balloon. One of the greatest gifts that I have received is this particular understanding. I have learned that the value of a gift lies in its value to the giver, not to the receiver or to the general public. I know that some people love me because they give me the hardest thing for them to give and that is trust. I know that other people love me because they won’t go away no matter what I do. My father never did one thing that would fit on the list of expressions of love – but I knew that he loved me when he stopped at the Howard Johnsons to have pancakes with me when I went to work with him.

Sometimes getting what we really want requires taking the time to go inside and find out what it is that we want from it. If we do this, we will find that what we want from it may be in it, or it may not be in it at all. Knowing what we need to receive from what we want to achieve will give us a far greater chance at satisfaction. It removes the appetite from being the decision maker so that we may be really nourished. If we can attract to us that which we believe we want, we will cut out a great deal of disappointment and suffering if we are not focused on what we believe that we want but we believe that we want is what we also know that we need. When we know that what we want is a box and what we need is not the box but its content, then we can accept that only God knows which box is right for us.