It is time to stop looking for forever


Too much time is spent, lost, worrying about whether or not this is the one, the one job, the one man, the one woman, the one opportunity.  Is this the forever?  What if it isn’t the forever, am I wasting my time?  Those thoughts, those concerns, not only waste our time, but they waste our lives.  I look back on all of the relationships that I have had, along with their expiration dates and I think realize that each one was, “The One” for the purpose that it served in my life.  And each one ended when it was time for me to move to a new experience of myself, to a new place on my path.

When I remember the relationships that I have had, the relationships that I spent so much time and energy trying to ensure their foreverness, I cannot help but wonder how many beautiful moments I may have overlooked, or lost the memory of because I was too preoccupied with the question of whether or not this relationship had enough tomorrows in it to make it worthwhile.  Yet, in seeing each one honestly, I realize that more time would not have made any of them more important in my life, or more a part of who I am today.  Even more importantly, I can see how necessary it was for each of them to reach their end.  Each relationship in my life was meant to take me to the next.  Each relationship in my life allowed me to outgrow it.  This, even when I did not believe that was possible.  Each one left me with a little more room in my heart to experience a little more love the next time.  We are constantly growing.  And inevitably, as we grow we outgrow the space that we once fit into.

We live today as though there is a way to live it that will insure our control of tomorrow.  But that is not the case.  Regardless of what we do, we do not control, nor do we even guarantee that there will be, tomorrow.  This is such a tenuous time that we are living in.  Change is slow and sudden.  We don’t see it while it is happening, and we are accosted by it what it has happened.  But it is always in the process of happening.  Anyone who enters our lives is in the process of leaving as we are in the process of leaving any lives that we enter.

There are certain animals that are monogamous.  They mate for life.  I am certain that there is some genetic reason for that to be.  We humans are at best, serial monogamists and there is a reason for that.  Our evolution is based upon relationships, from the relationships with our parents, our siblings, our friends, our teachers, students, bosses, to our relationship with the planet and all of the species that live on her.  Through each relationship we evolve in a holistic understanding of ALL-THAT-IS.  Each form of relationship teaches us something about our place in many different pictures, and though those pictures we learn to see ourselves in others, and others in ourselves.  We see ourselves against the backdrop of the whole, and ultimately we see ourselves as the Whole.

Each relationship is a precious incite into who we really are.  If someone comes into our lives and makes us feel that every atom of our being is rejoicing, we need to fill ourselves with that feeling with such abandon that it becomes a part of us.  We should not waste one moment worrying, creating battles because we are afraid that the person who brings this into our lives will leave.  Because they will, or we will, at some point.  That is the guarantee.  Anything that on earth that breathes its first breath will breathe its last.  Anything that beings under the Sun will end under the Sun.  Everything has its season.  The most precious commodity on earth is time.  And we can never, never waste it  when we spend it loving what we will one day lose.  We only waste it when we squander that time fearing that the end will come, and not filling ourselves with the love that is in front of us because of that fear.  Either way, the end always comes, but what matters is whether we reach it full having savored every ounce of love on that path, or empty, having feared the losing of that love so much that we missed the chance to fully experience it.

People come and go. but the love that they offer, if we accept it, is the one thing under the Sun that is eternal.  It does not leave our hearts once we allow it in.

If there ever was a time to love with abandon, it is now.  The things of man are disintegrating before our eyes.  It is unrealistic to depend that the material world of today will be a foundation for tomorrow.  It can barely stand under its own weight.  It is love, love in every form that we will build on.  Whoever loves you, today, is the one.  Whoever you love today, is the one.  Because it is not about this person or that person, it is about the love.  And if we can all learn to give it without fear, we will receive it without end.  This experience that we are having, at this time, on this planet is temporary.  Yet, what we take from it, is the one thing that is forever.

In each life, we are ultimately packing what we will take with us into the next.  We are building the blocks that will be the foundation for our next incarnation.  No one knows when we will draw our last breath, but when that day comes, we must leave with what we have gathered.  If we have gathered fear of abandonment or bitterness over being abandoned, then we will take those issues into our next life as the place where we begin each of our journeys.  However, if we live with the understanding that there really is no such thing as abandonment when there is no such thing as forever.  Everything and everyone has an expiration date, how it is reached is not personal.  Some things turn rancid, some get moldy, and some just fall apart, it just depends on what it is made of, but it will certainly reach a point where it is just no good anymore.  But that is it , that is the relationship with whatever, but it is not me, and it is not you, it just is life under the Sun.  So love as though it is forever, because love is.  And live as though it is for now, because everything else is.

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