I am living

between

If you stay

or

If you leave

I am surviving

between

with

or

without you

I face two paths

and travel

none

For you are still in my life

but not really

And you are out of my life

but not quite

The following poem is dedicated to three men who are not here to read it, but were it not for them, I would not be the person that I am today writing it.

It is dedicated to my father Aguinaldo, my brother Alfonso, and my surrogate father Al Wallach.  These three men refused to yield to what they believed to be injustice.  They instilled in me the deep conviction, that if we try to hide from injustice, if we tolerate injustice, or even if we ignore injustice, we are destroying any hope that in this world, there will ever be justice.  They were not here to witness this day – but I think that they planned it that way so that they would have the best seats in Heaven.

Today the World Changed

I did not receive a release of my debts

But still, a debt was paid this day to a people,

To my people

Today the world changed

For one moment

Those men who sat for days to build a foundation

Upon which a more perfect union could be built

And those slaves who gave their blood, sweat and tears

To lay the bricks and mortar that would secure that foundation

And the Red man, from whom all of this was taken

Rose in silent witness

All of those souls – joining hand, and heart

Standing side by side cried tears of Joy

For the resurrection of the Spirit of America

Today the world changed

Not with a bang – but with a whisper

A whisper that resounded throughout the world

And into the Heavens

The sky did not fall

Only that impenetrable ceiling upon which, the words,

“You may rise no further, this club is for “White Men Only”

Came tumbling down like the walls of Jericho.

Today the world changed

The last unyielding, inhumane, bloody chains of oppression gave way,

The spirits of my Hebrew ancestors who escaped Egypt

And had cried that they could not be really free until all mankind was free

Stand, arm in arm with the spirits of all of the slaves that toiled to build this country as the they had once toiled to build the pyramids,

Together their tears of joy rain down on us,

For they are all finally free, and the yokes of slavery and fear

Are removed from their generation

Today the world changed

Millions gathered ,of all ages, races, religions, genders, gay and straight, from all nations and all political ideologies

And above this multitude of men, women and children

Unnoticed, inconspicuous

Flloated  a multitude of Angelic Beings

All huddled together to bear witness to

the New World of Man,

the resurrection of Hope,

the resurrection of faith,

And the resurrection of Divine Love,

Today the world changed

The President of the most Powerful Nation in the world,

Was  raised up by the hands of the thousands of slaves who laid

The path that he walked , who built the stairs that he climbed,

And with pride and overflowing hearts they placed him in the highest seat.

They were able to work through the pain, the blood, and the exhaustion without giving up,

Without laying down to die,

Fueled and Driven by the faith that

One day, if they built it -

He would come

and complete the circle.

Today the world change

Never again can a teacher tell a little black, Hispanic, or native American child,

“You cannot reach for that goal, why even try, just wash dishes, clean houses

Get those foolish notions out of your head”

Never again, can a teen on the corner selling drugs to other teens

be able to say,

“The White man condemned me to this life, it is not my fault”

Never Again will the Black, Latino or Asian child be able to say that there is nothing more to aspire to

because they are Black, Latino, Chicano, or Asian

except to die in a gang.

Because – this day, if we look to our left, and we look to our right, there

Is the White man -

He is not in front -

He is not in control,

He is one of us – Today, the united States of America had declared this from here on,

Open seating

Today the world changed

No more can a boy or girl, living in a blighted ghetto or an arid dying suburb say,

“I cannot become whatever I want”

No one can ever, from this day forward say, I can’t.

No excuses left – no justifications left,

There is no greater or more meaningful role-model

Than the President Of The United States.

Today life’s struggles are still overwhelming us,

The tunnel which now darkly surrounds us

Has become neither shorter, nor easier,

And for so many of us – the light at the end of that tunnel,

Has grown no brighter.

Today the roof of my house shelters my family,

Tomorrow, it may be the roof of our car,

But if I have to struggle through the challenges of each day

This is the world that I want to struggle in.

Today the world changed

The dark and spiritless landscape that I stared out at yesterday

Has become a garden with the just  the tiniest buds of hope, of possibility, and of Light.

Whatever lies ahead for me, I have lived the best of my life.

My greatest fear was that my children would not have the chance to know

what the best might be.

And I know that the best that lies before my children will be much different than mine -

For mine was not real, it was made of glittering dust and ashes of the material world -

like a star we see far off in the distance of the night sky – so beautiful, yet

As soon as we see it, it is dead -

As soon as we obtain that far off material goal – it too is dead,

Ashes to ashes – dust to dust -we search for the next one.

Today the world has changed

The world of my children will not glitter,

It will radiate.

They will remember what being drunk with the world destroyed,

And so they will seek joy – and not intoxication.

History will record that this date ushered in a New Age

This is a great man,

but a great man cannot climb great heights alone

A great man can only accomplish great things by standing on

the shoulders of ordinary men and women,

Today the world changed

It changed because of white, black yellow and red, Jew, Christian, Muslim, Sufi, Buddhist, Taoist, Hindi, Mormon, Atheist,, Agnostic, and all other faiths -

men and women, gay and straight,

and the littlest of children,

the tiniest of Angels,

all raised him up, with their voices, and their prayers

pledged their toil, their struggles, their nickels, their dimes, their hopes and their dreams.

Because although this man is great

equally great are the people, the nation and  the world that would not let him down.

Today the world changed

Because one man claimed his place in history,

and showed us that we must claim our voices,

We must shout from the rooftops until we are heard,

And never, never be silent again.

He reminded us, and the world that this is our country -

and in the greatest sense – it is the country of the world -

there is no nation that does not have its own seeds planted in this garden.

And Today the World Is Proud to Be An American

And I am proud to have my country back

Today the world changed

I have my Statue of Liberty back,

This Lady was given to us as a reminder of who we are,

and why we are,

As clearly etched eternally on her foundation:

I have taken my faith back,

Knowing in my heart and soul that this moment has sealed it

forever.

Whatever happens, for better or for worse cannot erase,

cannot tarnish,

cannot touch in any way the undeniable fact,

That Today Happened

And it happened to every man woman and child in the world,

And with that faith – I have a reason to go on.

Today the world changed

The Last Great door opened wide today

The Last “Whites Only” sign

Has come down,

And with it, the last excuse for not trying,

or forever yielding the fight Before it’s begun

The White Man has not surrendered -

better than this,

He has realized that we are all in it together

And to stand, we must stand together

Today the world changed

All because one man, foolhardy enough to think that he could,

Promised millions of people around the world, that, “Yes We Can,”

And yes, together we did,

Today The World Changed

This is for every little child of every race, religion, and national origin,

you can dream even bigger,  reach for that far off star

even farther,

And for every man or woman who sees -Nothing

Whose lost -Everything,

You!  Find that dream, dust it off,

And dream it like you’ve never dreamed before,

Search for that star

You long ago lost track of,

And MOVE!

RUN!

REACH !

Everything is possible so long as we

Can hold our dreams

and keep our eyes on our stars,

T oday the world changed

Today, with brown hand placed on the Bible, this man said, “I accept”

And we heard his heart say to us,

I accept your trust, I accept your faith,

I accept your dreams and your hopes.

I accept your need to believe

and I will honor them,

and I will honor you

with every breath in every day.

Today the world changed

On this cold, clouded winter afternoon

We were warmed, united in sacred ceremony

That at last

Meant something

in a place within each of us that we no longer dared go,

Under a common shining light

As One Nation, under God, with Liberty and Justice For All

It matters not what tomorrow brings -

whatever it brings will pass

Only this moment will shine forever

Through whatever darkness lies ahead

It will shine

It will shine until the last hungry child is fed,

It will shine until the last sick child is healed,

And it will shine until the last guns have been beaten into plowshares,

And until the missiles have been beaten into pruning hooks:

and nation no longer lifts up a sword against nation,

And  neither shall we learn war any more.

Today, The world changed

And nothing again as long as we live will ever be deemed, impossible.

I cannot pierce the wall you’ve built

You won’t hear what I say

I’m trying hard to reach for you

But you just slip away

It’s only love that makes me say

The things you will not hear

You say you want me close to you

But won’t let me get near

You’ve been fighting for so long

Do you remember why?

You say you want to give me joy

But still you make me cry

How long can I try to give

To someone I can’t see ?

Don’t you know you can’t be happy

Till you want to be?

We make love to each other

for each other, with each other,

we expand

we contract

we explode

I leave

and feel

the pain of leaving

and the pain

of your

being left

I would not leave

If I did not fear

losing you

and did not fear

having you

but i am too selfish

to let you go

so i will stay

until staying is

easier than leaving

and love

is stronger

than fear

]]> http://oceanofconsciousnes.wordpress.com/2008/05/19/i-leave/feed/ 0 Denise http://oceanofconsciousnes.wordpress.com/2008/05/19/you-taught-me/ http://oceanofconsciousnes.wordpress.com/2008/05/19/you-taught-me/#comments Mon, 19 May 2008 20:36:30 +0000 Denise Gibel-Molini http://oceanofconsciousnes.wordpress.com/?p=73 ]]>

You taught me to love

without fear

you taught me to give

without loss

you taught me to grow

without limit

you taught me to fly

without wings

most of all

you taught me to let go

when need

was the only reason

to hold on

I cannot promise I will stay
For someday I must go
I promise you I will not change
But not that I won’t grow
I promise you the here and now
And all that it contains
I promise you that brilliant sun
But only till it rains
I love you with the love I need
And that I give for free
But I can’t give you happiness
Unless you want to be
I promise I will give the truth
At least the truth I know
And I will pray that knowing this
Won’t make you want
To go

Run away from the pain and hurt that I cause

The love I can give you is covered with flaws

Build on the things that you yet may not see

Build on a life that does not include me

Don’t be an enabler protecting my soul

Don’t try to fix what you cannot make whole

You deserve much more than I can give now

I wish I could love you but I don’t know how

You are so special and precious to me

The best I can give you is to set you free

I’m sorry I hurt you it wasn’t my goal

I’m sorry I used you to make me feel whole

I’ll turn my back now please run far away

For if I can catch you I will make you stay’

You can’t make me love you the way you should be

For I can’t love anyone till I love me.

]]> http://oceanofconsciousnes.wordpress.com/2008/05/10/i-wish-i-could-love-you/feed/ 0 Denise http://oceanofconsciousnes.wordpress.com/2008/05/08/until-i-love-myself/ http://oceanofconsciousnes.wordpress.com/2008/05/08/until-i-love-myself/#comments Thu, 08 May 2008 00:56:10 +0000 Denise Gibel-Molini http://oceanofconsciousnes.wordpress.com/?p=52 ]]>

Until I trust myself

i can only mistrust you

until I find my way

I can only mislead you

Until I see myself

I can only deceive you

Until I love myself

I can only hurt you

And until I can accept myself

I can only lose you

When we realize that we are not God

And that only God is perfect

When we realize our minuteness

And forgive our fallibility

When we accept our imperfection

And forgive our humanness

When we reject what pleases us

For a moment

And seek what fulfills us

For a lifetime

When we realize that we do not need love

For we are

Love

Is when the definition of joy

Will be living